Tennessee

Somewhere in the mountains of Tennessee
There’s a home, meant for you and me
Peonies growing in the yard
A grove of pecan trees
A path for walking every day
A bench to rest your feet
Somewhere in the mountains of Tennessee
A home for you and me
Room for all our animals, family and friends
A place to watch the sun set
A fire pit to for those chilly nights
Our door would always be open
The loving would never end
Somewhere in the mountains of Tennessee
There sits a home, no longer meant for you and me
You took your heart away
And hid it from me
And threw away our future plans
To grow old together
In the mountains of Tennessee

Magic 8-Ball

Never believe a Magic 8-Ball
Those things cannot be trusted
They’ll only get your hopes up
Then leave you lonely and disgusted
Never trust a Magic 8-Ball
That dude’s kinda shady
“Better Not Tell You Now”
“Ask Again, Reply Hazy”
Never trust a Magic 8-Ball
Especially the app on your phone
You’ll go to bed feeling good
But still wake up all alone.
Never believe a Magic 8-Ball
Those things cannot be trusted
They’ll only get your hopes up
Then leave you lonely and disgusted…

Chicken Tikka

Tonight I made Chicken Tikka
With a side of Naan
Haven’t really felt like cooking
Since you said that we were done
Everything I like to make
Is what you said you like to eat
Just couldn’t bring myself to
It’s been a couple weeks
Spent a bunch of money on takeout
Now I’m turning into him
I used to look forward to cooking
Even though I was cooking for them
I’d pretend I was cooking for you
Pretend I was cooking for us.
I’d make anything you’d want me to
Cooking together with you.
But now there’s no chili. no pot pie,
No stroganoff, no cheesesteak. no gyros. no dumplings
It hurts too much now,
It’s always something
Just another thing that reminds me of you
And how we were supposed to be
But you took your love away
And cannot let me back in
You’d moved on
I’m here to stay
Now I avoid the kitchen.
But I made Chicken Tikka tonight
Though I couldn’t bring myself
To eat not even a bite.
And as for the naan,
None…

The Life I Settled For

This is the life I settled for
I just figured this was it
Until you showed me something more
Showed me all the things I missed
Taught me to strive for better
Taught me to savor time
Someone who’d leave me never
Someone who’s loving and kind
Someone with life in common
Someone who’s dreams I shared
We liked the same movies, songs and food
Someone who picked my heart up
And convince me that I was good
You showed me how to calm
The beast down deep inside
You held me when I felt alone
You held me when I cried
You pulled me out of Robot Mode
With you I didn’t have to pretend
No more hiding all alone
In you I had a friend
But you’ve moved on
And I’m stuck here
Right back at the beginning
Your love for me is now long gone
“Always and Forever” has met it’s ending
You said we’d still be friends
You said a lot of things
On you, you said to depend
But I’m alone and wonder how
And now I wonder why
That you went from making plans
About living together for ever
To completely ignoring me daily
Not even to ask about the weather
You used to call me “Darlin”
You used to call yourself mine
Said you’d leave me never
Said we’d stand the test of time
Now you don’t call me anything
You don’t call me at all
I’m down her crawling on my knees
While you’re standing tall
And I’m back to living in Robot Mode
I’m back to pretending
Back to the life I settled for
Back to this- This is it
On our new life you closed the door
Took away all I missed.
My heart, once full
Now empty inside
Where you used to hide
Am I destined to live
In Robot Mode
Until the day I die?

Raindrops

I still fall asleep
To the sound of drops of rain
Wishing those raindrops
Can wash away this pain
Every time I close my eyes, I think of you
Wishing you could love me the way you used to.
At night I hear the owls, talking to one another
Reminds me of the time, and our love for each other.
Our playlists have been destroyed
All of your songs, you deleted.
Just like the love you held in your heart
Has been slowly bled and depleted
I wonder if you think of me
I wonder if you even care
I wonder if you ever notice
That I’m no longer there.
Because I still think of you.
At night when I fall asleep.
I think about you all the time
Back when our love was deep.
I still fall asleep to the sound of rain
Hoping the raindrops wash away the pain
Every time I close my eyes, I think of you
Wishing you could love me again,
Love me the way you used to.

I Guess I Got My Answer

She messaged me out of the blue
And it took me 4 days to reply
Because I didn’t know what to say
I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high
But I did it anyway
I didn’t want to say too much
Didn’t want to say the wrong thing
Didn’t want to read too much into it
I didn’t want to turn it into a thing
It was just a friend thing, I guess
Who knows? She didn’t say.
And when I finally got my courage up
I answered her today.
4 hours later, no reply
Even though I know she’s online
I guess that’s what our friendship is
No need to wonder if I’m missed
It’s plain to see she doesn’t care
My feelings she’s dismissed.
So why do I keep going there?
We’re over and done,
Yeah we’re through
She doesn’t even pretend to care
Dude, she’s not thinking about you
And wasting her time wondering
If you’re thinking about her all day.
So I guess I got my answer
I guess it’s time move on
The relationship has gone astray
And the friendship is also done…

I Give Up…

I give up
I give in
I’m throwing the towel
I lose
She wins
There’s no hope for tomorrow
She’s your person
I’m just your friend
She’s the One
Who makes you smile
She gets you
She really GETS you
All that I’ve got left
Are words that rang hollow
Said you can’t give up your heart
Or let anyone else in
She’s been there from the start
Even when your love for me
Came to an end
I saw the way you looked at her
And the way she looked at you
I can see still see it now
The love that’s shared between you
I hoped that I could make you smile
Wished I could bring you joy
When you’re with her, you smile for miles
More than you ever did with this boy
No I get it, I understand
You couldn’t give your heart to me
When you said you didn’t need a man
I was too blind to see.
But now I do
I know we’re through
You couldn’t give me your heart
Because she had it all along
She’s held it from the start.
So I give up
I give in
I’m throwing the towel
I lost you
She won
There’s no hope for tomorrow
She’s your person
We don’t even act like friends
She’s the one
Who makes you smile
She the one that you let in
She’s been there the whole time
She’s the one who gets your space
She’s had your heart all along
She gets to see your face
It was a game I’d never win
Why did you let me think I would?
I guess I was wrong the entire time,
I guess I misunderstood.
I give up
I give in
I’m throwing the towel
I lost you
She won
There’s no hope for tomorrow…

Tangerine Popsicles

Tangerine Popsicles
At night before you go to bed
Serial Killer & Murder Shows
On my chest you lay your head
You hear my heart beating
Because my heart belongs to you
Falling asleep, you in my arms
Each and every night
Waking up every morning,
Still holding you tight
But I never got to hold you
And watch you fall to sleep
Except only in my dreams
Every night it felt so real
But the dream
Won’t come true it seems
Around your heart
You built a wall
No longer can I come in
And our love did take a fall
My flame’s no longer my twin
You still get a tangerine popsicle
Every night before you go to bed
Your serial killer & murder shows
But on a pillow you lay your head
My heart’s stop beating
I’m all alone, no one on my chest
No kisses from your lips
No “I Love You” on your breath
At least not me anyway
The dream, now a nightmare
I suffer here in silence
You don’t even care
Tangerine Popsicles
And your murder shows
Your nightly routine
Goes on every night without me
That’s not what forever means

Margaritas and Beignets

You said you needed time and space
To figure out how to be alone
But what you really meant was
You had someone else
That’s who your heart belongs
I knew you had another
When we first got serious
But I wanted to be the one
Guess I was delirious
Because while I gave you
Time and space
She was always there
Closer than any other
To your lungs, she was your air
Why didn’t you just tell me
She’s the one who had your heart
And that you and I could never be
Then I wouldn’t have wondered
If you’d come back to me
I could have moved on with my life
I could have moved on with my wife
If I only had known the truth
That you weren’t ever coming back
And that we were really through
She was always in your heart
I was just the boy in love with you
You promised me forever
Said we’d always be true
But instead of asking me
To give you time
And for me to give you space
You could have stopped me
From playing the fool
All this time that I did waste
Chasing a dream that wasn’t true
Because you’d made up your mind
It was her all along
Your heart was never mine.

Green Dots

I lay here
Staring at my phone
My eyes well up with tears
Wish I could talk to someone
But you’ve no longer here
Well,¬†you’re on your phone
I can tell-
The dot on your pic is green
But you don’t see me
You don’t check in
I’m invisible, unseen
But I know you can see
That I’m here, my dot’s green too
But you just ignore me,
Don’t even look my way
Must be too painful to you
To know that I believed your words
And that I gave you my heart
You were the one I turned to
When life was too much
Now it’s like I’m dead to you
Like you don’t give a fuck
What did I do but show you love
And wanted you to see me
I never hurt you, never would
Never would mislead thee
I want to reach out to someone
And tell them what I’m feeling
But I’ll just sit back
And write these words
While my head and heart are reeling
No one left to talk to
That person was once you
My heart aches, my head’s a mess
What am I to do?
I lay here
Staring at my phone
My eyes well up with tears
Wish I could talk to someone
But you’ve no longer here…