I’m Tired of Pretending

I can’t do this anymore
I’m tired of pretending
Don’t like who I am anymore
I’m tired of pretending
Always mad, always sad
Always pretending…
So no one sees me crying
Do they realize I’m lying?
Inside I’m slowing dying
Anxiety and fear keep rising
Wishing I still had my friend
Wishing the your love didn’t end
On you I could still depend-
To calm my fears,
To ease my pain,
To feel whole again
No one to confide
Feelings that I hide,
While dying inside.
Nothing left but pride
A love unreturned
Bridges I’ll burn
But to live I must learn
How to be me
How to be free
How to finally see
That your love’s not for me
That we’ll never be
So I just keep pretending
And I keep holding on
To afraid to let go
Too tired to be strong
Too scared to know
Where I go from here
How to face this fear
And move on in my life
To ease all of this strife
And pass on this heartache
To cause another’s heart break
For the good of my own sake
Without knowing how it all ends
Will we ever talk again?
Or are we done as friends?
You said you’d always be there.
You said that you cared.
You said lots of things.
You that you had to move on.
You needed time and space
You needed to concentrate-
On your family and life anew
Not here, when I needed you-
What am I supposed to do?
Who will help see me through?
Who will help change my view?
I wore my heart on my sleeve
But you deserted me-
Just like I will have to leave her
If we would have been together.
When you promised forever.
I’m tired of pretending…

3 thoughts on “I’m Tired of Pretending

  1. Parts of this poem I felt like I was listening to Juice WRLD and Five Finger Death Punch combined. This is a magnificent style of writing.

    So much pain, love, and hurt meshed into one sphere, searching for a quiet way out. Only to feel okay and alive.

    Thank you for the delicious read.

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