When Did You Know?

When did you know
That we were over?
When did you know
That we were through?
When did you know
That you didn’t feel the same
The way I felt about you?
When did you know
That things were different?
When did you decide
To move on?
When did you know
Always and Forever
Now are forever gone?
When did you know
That I wasn’t the one
That held the key
To your heart?
When did you decide
You didn’t need me?
How did you know
I didn’t need you?
When did you know
That you were stronger?
Where did you go
To find yourself?
When did your realize
That your heart
Belonged to someone else?
When did you know
“We’ll still be friends”
Doesn’t mean what I thought?
We never talk anymore-
When did you learn to ignore?
When did you know
That we were over?
When did you know
That we were through?
When did you know
That you didn’t feel the same
The way I felt about you?
Do you still know,
That I die inside
Every day without you?

The Strong Ones

You know what really sucks?
Pretending to be the strong one
The one everyone turns to
The one that gets shit done
Being the problem solver.
Or The Entertainer
The one who has to hide
The fears and tears
And dying inside
“How do you do it?”
“How are you so strong?”
Because I have to
To help you all get along
We make it look easy
So you all can keep going
Our anxiety hidden
Without anyone ever knowing

Sunday Morning

On a quiet Sunday morning
I sit alone in my back yard
Woodpeckers, songbirds
Dew falling upon the leaves
A train off in the distance
As well as passing cars
Tears falling on my sleeves.
The owls are talking in the background
Another distant reminder
Of a time when I had your love
And the Universe was kinder
The sunshine poking through the trees
The smell of rain upon the air
The cool wind on a light breeze
Are memories and reminders
To let me know you cared
Even though the sun is shining
I sit here in a fog, a mist
Are these still symbols of your love
Am I even missed?
On a quiet Sunday morning
Sitting all alone
Surrounded by reminders
That your love for me is now gone

The Way You Make Me Feel

You made me feel wanted
You made me feel alive
You let me finally feel
The feelings way down inside
With you I didn’t have to pretend
With you I could be myself
With you I didn’t have to hide
You helped me find myself
You made me feel loved
You made me feel enjoyment
You helped me rediscover rainbows
You helped me rediscover rain
But now when I think of you
All I feel is pain
Before your love
I was fine,
Just floating through the day
Before your love,
I was blind,
I thought this was the only way
You made me feel wanted
You made me feel my best
You made me feel
Something real
Was beating inside my chest
You made me feel wanted
You made me feel alive
Now the only thing I feel-
I feel like I want to cry…

Albert and Allegra

Albert & Allegra
Is what I called us
From the movie Hitch
Big & Lil Spoon
Just a few of the nicknames on our list
Beauty & The Beast
I was your DJ Man,
You were my Sweets
I loved it when you called me Darlin’
In that Sweet Southern drawl
Now you don’t call me anything
You don’t even call.
I hated when you used my name
It sounded so sterile, so clean
Like swallowing a mouthful of Listerine
Big & Lil Spoon,
My Universe
Beauty & the Beast
Catherine & Vincent
Albert & Allegra-
From the movie Hitch
You & Me
Forever?
I wish…

Flowers

A garden full of flowers
A garden of peonies
And flowers on your table
And on the windowsill
Flowers in every room
Flowers in the hall
Flowers on the back porch
Flowers adorn your bedroom wall.
Flowers on your nightstand
Flowers on the sink
I’d fill your house with flowers
So beautiful. So sweet
But their sweetness and their beauty
Could never compare to you
The way you feel about Flowers
Is how I feel about you.

Empathy

Empathy is a blessing and a curse
Helping other people feel better
Only makes you feel worse
But listening their problems
Helps you avoid your own
Ignoring your own issues
You don’t have to find time solve them
Enough of about you, let them talk about them
You are the problem solver
A shoulder to lean on
When they’re down
You’ll always be there
To fix their frown
And to help them
Straighten up their crown.
Empathy is a curse.
Empathy is a blessing.
You’re there for someone at their worse.
But your self care,
You keep forgetting

#IFLYSFM

I loved you so much
I loved you with all my heart
Weren’t just words typed in the dark
Now I can’t bear to look at you
Can’t look at your pics or your posts
Cuz you disappeared
When I needed you the most
Said that you’d always be here
Said that we’d always be friends
Said that you were someone I could lean on
I really thought you’d be the one
We had so much in common
We were so much alike
It seams you broke that promise
Now you’re nowhere in sight.
Every word I said, I meant
I appreciate all the time we spent
I thought we’d be forever
That your love, the Universe had sent
I was finally going to be happy
I was finally going to be free
With someone who truly wanted me
Not just needed me.
You never really needed me
You were always stronger
But now you realized that
You didn’t want me any longer
But I loved you so much
I loved you with all my heart
Now I sit here alone
Crying tears in the dark
You’ve moved on,
You’re in a better place
I gave you your time and space
And I’m left with none
No one that I can count on
I loved you so much
It’s tearing me up inside
Knowing that the love you promised
Would be always and forever
Has now shriveled up and died

Here

My daughter said that she hates it here
That this life isn’t fair
She said we’re not a family
Just people who breathe the same air
She said she hates it in this house
She can’t wait to leave
The words that came from her mouth
Words I say to myself daily
This isn’t the life that I had in mind
This wasn’t how I thought it would be
A partner with whom to spend my time
Someone who shared my dreams
So when she says she hates it here
On this we can agree.
I want someone to show me love
Someone who shows affection
Someone to return my love
And give my life direction
My daughter says she hates it here
And I hate it too…
For me, there’s no escape from here
Whatever will I do?

45

At 45, just the thought
Of giving up and starting over
Just doesn’t make any sense
A job, a life, a family.
A granddaughter on the way.
A house, a wife of 20 years.
You’d be a fool not to stay.
Loyalty, Stability,
No cares for tomorrow
But misery and anxiety
You hide your pain, your sorrow.
Hoping to find “a better life”
With someone who shares your vision
Will you ever find a better wife,
Than the mother of your children?
You swear that she’s not right for you,
That she is no longer your “person”
But will ever find someone
To help you ease your pain
Or will the one that you want to be with
Bring more pain to the surface?
You’re 45.
Be glad you’re alive
You wake to another day
Thank the stars and the Universe
For each and every one
And hope you get to experience
Another 45 some day…