Month: July 2021

A Falling Leaf

A falling leaf
But I’m at peace
Because the sun’s still shining
As I sit all alone
Out here on my own
Trying to find me
And just like the sun,
Life does move on
I’m putting you behind me
I thought my world
Had come to an end
Trying to live without you
But I was too blind to see
The world around me
There’s so much more to do
Than sit at home
To cry and moan
Because the love you promised
Wasn’t true
So I sit alone
Out here on my own
I’m finally at peace
The leaves have replaced the tears
It’s been a long year
The highs were high
And the lows were low
But the sun’s still shining
As I sit all alone
Out here on my own
Trying to find me
And just like the sun,
Life does move on
I’m putting you behind me

So This Is Moving On?

I’m not mad
I’m no longer sad
I’ve got no hard feelings
Towards you
I guess in a way
You could say
That I’m trying to be
Just like you
Trying to move on
Trying to be strong
Trying to find my way
I’m tired of the tears
I’m tired of the fear
I’m tired of being lost
Without you
I’m tired of pretending
Tired of thinking we can be
What we were back then
You wanted time and space
I’m no longer waiting to waste
My time, hoping things change
You’re moved on over there
You don’t seem to care
That we’re not even just friends
You’re just someone I know
Someone who chose
To walk out of my life
Done with the anger
The love for a stranger
And a heart full of strife
It’s time to find peace
Time for me to see
That I too
Can be happy

I Closed the Door

I closed the door on you
I closed the door on us
Not that I want us to be through
But to get back who I was
Back when I was happy
And found beauty in the world
Back before things felt crappy
Without the love of 1 girl
You have always had
A special place in my heart
But I’m tired of being sad
Like you, I need a new start
So I closed the door on you
And I closed the door on us
Time to move on
Now that the love is gone
Time for me to go find me
Time to set myself free
Time to figure out who I am
In this new reality…

What Happens Next?

So what happens next
Now that I’ve decide to move on?
What happens to my creativity
Now that my love for you is gone?
What happens to my words
No longer written down in pain
I won’t allow you cause me sorrow
Won’t let you hurt me once again
I’ve decided to move on now
Time to learn to be strong
Time to get my life back on track
Time to start on a new song
No, I am not bitter,
You helped me find my voice
But you left my heart in splinters
Move on, I have no choice.
So what happens next?
Now that I’ve decided to move on
What happens to my creativity
Now that my love for you is gone?

Closing the Door

I guess it’s time
To close that door
And finally walk away
I just don’t feel
The same anymore
I’ve got to learn to be okay
With not talking to you
And causing myself
Such pain
While I’ve hung on
You’ve moved on
And you’re not
Coming back again
Time to close the door
On you,
Time to close the door
On us
Time for me to realize
That we’re finally through
Time to pick my heart
Up out of the dust
Time for me
To finally see
That you don’t want me anymore
Time for me to realize
You’re not walking back
Through that door.
But if and when
You finally do
I’ll no longer be here
Because I’m done
Chasing you
I’m shedding my last tear.
You needed time
You needed space
So I just sat here
Running in place.
But you’ve moved on
Your heart is gone
And I’m alone here,
Spinning my wheels.
I’ve had a thought
To move off this spot,
It’s finally time for me
To break the seal.
To close the door
Lock it and
Throw away the key.
Time for me
To move on from you
The way you’ve
Moved on from me…

Sunshine and Cicadas

Sunshine and cicadas
On a summer Saturday morn
Hanging with the dogs
In the backyard
While the cicadas sing
Their song
Sunlight poking through the trees
The dogs bask the light
Finishing my coffee
Not a worry in sight
Morning mediation
Helps me start the day
With peace
For now I have no worries
In this backyard retreat
Drink a bottle of water
Listening to the birds
Sing out their tune
Summer is almost over
Fall will be here soon
The sunshine and cicadas
Will then be replaced
With morning dew.
And I’ll still be holding on
To the love I have for you.

Stained Glass Windows

I sat alone
There in that pew
Staring out
The stained glass windows
Thinking about you
Wishing that you
Were by my side
To hold my hand,
If I cried.
Wondering
Where you’d be,
If I should happen to die
Would you sit in the gallery?
Or would you sit with the family?
And who would comfort you,
When you cried?
Would you even
Cry for me?
The stained glass windows
The sunlight shining through
And all I could do
Was think of you
As I sat alone there
Alone in that pew
Wishing you could love me too
Love me the way you used to
Wishing you were
By my side
To hold my hand
When I cried.
I was there to mourn
The loss of a dear friend.
But as I sat there
I thought of you again
Hoping to never sit
Alone in another pew
Sitting all alone,
Without you…

The Overthinking Overthinker

I make up scenarios
Inside my own head
That fills my insides
Up with dread
It’s like I keep
Pulling my own thread
Completely unraveling
To words left unsaid
Because I only do this
To myself
Nobody even knows
This private Hell
Trapped inside
This lonesome cell
To no one else
These secrets I tell
Because I makeup
Scenarios in my own head
I overthink
I need a drink
To quench this thirst
Just makes it worse
Because my head spins
And my whole world ends
These nightmares I create
Destined to become my fate
On you I cannot wait
No one else I can depend
Because I make up
Scenarios in my own head
Filling my insides up with dread
I keep pulling my own thread
Completely unraveling
To words left unsaid
Because I only do this
To myself…

My Blue Hockey Jacket

My blue hockey jacket
Sits in the bottom of a bag
A hidden reminder
Of what I used to have
It was my favorite jacket
I wore it the last time we met
Back when always
Meant forever
I haven’t worn it since December
We had the best time
From what I remember
That night I draped it on your pillow
Because it still smelled like you
When I awoke the next morning
After dreaming of us, two
My blue jacket there
Pretending it was you
I was wearing it that January day
When you took your heart away
Stunned, I took it off
Not knowing what to say
My blue hockey jacket
Sits in the bottom of a bag
A hidden reminder
Of what I used to have
It was my favorite jacket
I used to wear it all the time
Now it’s just another reminder
That you’re no longer mine
Learning to live without you,
My hockey jacket
Isn’t the only thing that’s blue…