Why Am I Like This?

Why am I like this?
Why do I feel everything so deeply?
Why do I always fall?
Why am I like this?
Why am I shutting down again?
Why do I get so excited?
Why do I let people in?
Why am I like this?
Why am I this way?
Why do I get so caught up?
Why do I make them run away?
Why am I like this?
Why can’t I be happy?
Why can’t I find joy
In what’s right in front of me?
Why am I like this?
Why does it always hurt?
Why do I always end up
Feeling like a jerk?
Why am I like this?
Why doesn’t anybody else see?
That I don’t want to be here,
That it hurts to be me?
Why am I like this?
Why do I do this to myself?
Why do I imagine,
That I can escape
To somewhere else?
And what happens if one day
I’m finally lucky enough to get away?
Will I still be like this?
Will this pain finally go away?

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