I miss intimacy
I miss affection
I miss longing
I miss touch
I miss connection
I miss passion
I miss feeling
I miss love
I miss desire
I miss being needed
I miss being wanted
I miss being craved
I miss that feeling
Of love
That crashes over you
Like a wave
I miss warmth
I miss the heat
I miss that spark
I miss the flame
I miss the things
That we do in the dark
I miss me
The old me
The one who was free
But what I really miss
Is someone who
Wants to be
With me…
Bad things
Happen to good people
For no apparent reason
Bad things
Happen to good people
No matter time or season
You do the best you can
Then your whole world
Turns upside down
You take it
Turn the other cheek
Only to get kicked
While you’re still down
You try to grin and bear it
You try to overcome
Your burden, you can’t share it
Because you’re not the only one
Bad things
Happen to good people
It’s crazy
Because it’s true
Bad things
Happen to good people
What are we supposed to do?
Horrible people
Get all the breaks
They have all the luck
Bad things
Always happen
To good people
Seriously,
What the fuck?
Why
Do I cry
Over someone
Who doesn’t want
Me?
Why
Does it hurt
To miss someone
Who doesn’t see
Me?
Why
Do I try?
Why
Do I
Keep letting
You
Hurt Me?
Why
Do I care
That you’re not
There?
Why
Am I blind
To all that is
Here
Right here
In front of
Me?
Why
Do I
Keep getting
My Hopes
Up?
When it is
Plain to see
That You
Don’t
Give A Damn
About
Me…
200 people
Took time out of their day
To stop and wish me
A Happy Birthday
But one “friend”
Could not take the time
To tell me that I
Was on their mind
So many people
Showing they care
But I’m stuck opining
For the one
Who wasn’t even there…
Nobody’s coming to save me
Nobody’s coming to set me free
I have to move forward by myself
Because I can’t depend on anyone else
If I am ever going to move on
I am the only one I can depend on
Nobody’s coming to save me
Nobody’s coming to set me free
I have to move forward on my own
I have to do this all alone
It took losing you
To find myself
I thought you were want I wanted
More than anyone else
But now that you’re gone
I can finally see
I wasn’t looking for you
I was trying to re-find me
I wasn’t happy with the life I had
The constant monotony
Just made me sad
I poured my heart and soul
Into loving you
Spent all my time
Trying to build something new
Now I look back
And see that I was wrong
What I needed
Was in front of me all along
I was just blind
I couldn’t see
Too busy trying to be
Everything for someone else
Neglecting the one
Who loves me more
Than anyone else
It took losing you
To finally find myself
I thought I wanted you
But all I really wanted was me.
I’m not looking for a damsel in distress,
I want someone who can hold their own
I don’t want someone who needs me,
Or someone afraid to be alone
I want someone who sees me
As a partner and an equal,
That I’m not like all those other guys
I’m not a copy cat or sequel
I want someone who wants me
Someone who will be my partner
Someone who’ll help me up
Someone who will push me farther
I tired of being the white knight
Always there on his trusty steed
There to save you, in your time of need
I want someone who’s will is strong
Someone who’s just happy to exist
Someone whose love for me lasts long
Someone whose heart just can’t resist
I’m tired of climbing castle walls
I’m tired of swimming across moats
I’m tired of fighting dragons
So very tired of chasing ghosts
I’m tired of saving damsels
Rescuing them from their distress
I’m tired of being the reliable one
I’m ready to give this all a rest
It’s time for this white knight to retire
Time to put away my horse and armor
This suit, is where I hide inside
It looks strong, but it’s starting to rust
I don’t wanna wear it any longer.
No more saving damsels in distress
No more rescuing the fairy princess.
Time to move on from the maidens
And finally find myself a Queen…
I was going to do things right
I was going to wait my turn
That match I didn’t dare light
That bridge, was one I did not want to burn.
I was content to be just friends
My love I kept a secret,
Our friendship,
I did not want to end.
So I waited
For what seemed like a lifetime
Gave up on the dream
That you’d ever be mine
I gave up hope
You moved away
We both seemed happy
With our own families
Then like a bolt
Right out of the blue
You reached out to me
I reached out for you
We both came to find
We shared the same view
I Finally told you
How long I’ve loved you
To my surprise, you felt it too
We promised each other
That we’d always be true
Promised to help the other up
Whenever one of us felt down
But when I needed you most
You just weren’t around
Said you needed time
And you needed space
Time to find yourself
A place to create your space
As I felt my world crumble around me
You moved on, you built a life
You seem fine without me.
I held your hand, I wiped your tears
Promised to make up for lost time
To reclaim the losf years.
But now I’m left to wonder how
And wrestling with why
You’ve moved on
Gave your heart to another guy
You didn’t need time,
You didn’t need space
Why didn’t you just say
That you didn’t really need Me?
175 Miles,
And 2 hours away
I gave you all
The Time & Space
You were free
To live your life
Free to do
Whatever you pleased
Free to come & go
Free to move on
Without me.
I gave you all my time
Though I had none to waste
I gave you my all
Just so I
Could see your face
The time we shared
I savored each moment
You swore you’d always care
Now I sit here and wonder
Pondering where your love went
Because you needed your time
And you needed your space,
You couldn’t love me
From 175 Miles,
And 2 hours away…
You…
Rainbow Phoenix Poetry 