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Sitting Here

Sitting here, surrounded by all the things I still have to do
But none of those things I wanna do without you
Cooking, cleaning, going out
But all I can bring myself to do is sit & pout.
In a house full of people
I always feel so alone.
The highlight of my day was talking to you on the phone.
Those few minutes helped me cope
But now I’m struggling, at the end of my rope.
Just to have someone to talk to
Someone who could relate
Someone who understands me
You coming into my life felt like fate
But I’m all alone and now you’re gone
You have your new life, I have no one
So I sit here alone, with so much to do
But it hurts too bad, because all I can think about is you…

Rainy Friday Nights

These rainy Friday nights
They used to be “Our Time”
Our time to enjoy each other’s company,
Our time to just unwind
We’d sit on the phone and talk
Listening to each other in the dark
Just like teenagers way back when
Back when our Twin Flames did spark
Back before things turned different
We’d stay up all night
Watching a movie 150 miles apart,
Back when the world was right
Back when I was still in your heart
But Friday nights just aren’t the same
Now that we have grown apart
Now that you don’t feel the same.
You’ve moved on
Your love’s now gone,
Someone else is in your heart
But it’s still raining,
And I’m still here
Sitting along in the dark.
I catch myself missing you,
Longing for those Friday nights
Back when your love was true
When there was only me and only you.
Now I sit here all alone,
No one to help me ease this pain
I just sit here wondering
If Friday nights
Will ever be the same again…

You Saved Me

You saved me from hurting her
You saved me from breaking her heart
You saved me from throwing it all away
You saved me from tearing her world apart
You saved me from doing to her,
The things you did to me
You saved me from showing her
This other side of me
You saved me from finding out
After it would have been far too late
You saved me from moving out
You saved me from a big mistake
All this pain you gave to me
I don’t ever want to feel again
More than a lover, I lost my friend
The world just doesn’t feel the same
You saved me from passing on this hurt
From passing on this despair
To some that I still love
But in a much different way
Saved me from telling her
The words I never want to say
Because I know this pain and this hurt
Are far too much to bear
And I could never give them to
Someone for whom I care…

I Won’t Be There

I won’t be there
To repair a heart
That I didn’t break
I won’t be there
To clean up a mess
That I didn’t make
I won’t be there
To wipe away your tears
I won’t be there
To help you face your fears
I won’t be there
When your world starts
To fall apart
I won’t be there
To mend your next
Broken heart
I won’t be there
To save you from
Yourself
I won’t be there
To help you get over
Someone else.
I won’t be there
To help you
Get back on your feet
I won’t be there
For you
In your time of need.
I won’t be there
For you.
Because you weren’t
Here for me.
You said you’d be here
When I needed you
You said a lot of things
That turned out
To be untrue.
But you abandoned me
In my time of greatest need
I was blind before
But now I finally see
That I need to treat you
The same way you treated me…

Who is He?

Who is He?
And why is he
Sitting in my spot?
Who is He?
And why is he
Everything I’m not?
If I was everything
You wanted
And everything you needed
Then why is He
The person that
You choose to be with?
Would he be willing
To give up everything
Just for you?
Because that’s exactly
What I was going to do.
Who is He
And why is he
Sleeping in my bed?
Who is He
And why is he
Where you chose to
Rest your head?
Can’t you see
That he’ll never be
The one that
Was made for you?
You said I was your flame,
You said we were the same.
But he’s just some random dude…

I Was the One

I was the one
Who picked you up,
Picked you up when you
Wpere feeling down
I was the one
Who was there
And helped you
Fix your crown
I was the one
Who came along
Just as you were
Starting to drown
I was the one
To pull you back
From dark depths of despair
I was the one
That you told
That you’d always
Be there
I was the one
To whom you swore to
That you would
Always be true
I was the one
That held you
When you felt blue
I was the one
Who promised you
A love pure & true
I was the one
Who showed you
How to give your heart
I was the one
Who wanted to
Take care of
Your every need
I was the one
Left with a heart,
A Heart that is
Still bleeding
I was the one
Who believed that
Always meant forever
I was the one
Who made a promise
A promise to leave you never
I was the one
Left standing here,
World torn all apart
I guess I was the one
The only one,
Of us who was
Not pretending
I was the one
Left crying
Over our friendship,
And our relationship
Ending…

Old Love

Old Love…
Leave Me Alone…
These are the words
From one of my favorite Clapton songs
Twin Flames, you said we were
But now your flame no longer burns…
As I lie here, in this bed alone,
Wondering how I’ll ever get back to
A white hot love, that’s now gone
“Old Love” blaring from the speakers
And dancing around in my head
Laying alone in this empty bed
Remembering all of the words you said…
“And it’s making me so angry…
To know that the flame still burns…”
Clapton softly sings
A “River of Tears” streaming down my face…
Stinging the corners of my eyes,
As the memories still race
Around in circles inside my head
My stomach and my heart both filled with dread…
Music used to be my getaway, my escape.
The music I used to love,
Now fills me with hate-
“Makes me so angry
To know that the flame still burns
Why can’t I get over?
When will I ever learn?
Old love…”
Leave…
Me…
Alone…

STRANGERS STILL

The moment we first met
I felt us connect
And you said you felt it too
Then we became friends
With an invisible bond, a tether
Our friendship could end? Never!
I always loved you from afar
Held a space deep in my heart
But I could never tell you
I didn’t want to ruin it
Didn’t want to see our friendship end
But we shared a bond so deep
We shared a bond so true
One day I finally had to tell you-
I told you my hopes
I told you my fears
I told you my dreams
I showed you my tears
I gave you my heart
To you, I bared my soul
You promised to be here
Together, We’d grow old
You let me in
Said we’d still be friends
No matter what happens…
But now you’ve moved on-
Both love and friendship are gone
Another shot in the gut
But I’m such a dope
For holding out hope
That one day we’ll be together
Just a bump in the road
On our path to always
Our path to forever
But I’m still here
And you’re still there
We don’t even talk any more
I can’t look at you
Without feeling blue
Can’t think of you and not be sad
Should have kept it inside
I shouldn’t have tried…
I could have saved my tears
Would have saved a whole year
A year of sadness and anger
But I tempted Fate
And I learned too late
That we’re not even friends
We’re still Strangers…

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Out of sight
Out of mind
I gave you space
I gave you time
Took back your heart
And gave back mine
Said we’d still be friends
But you were just lying
Sometimes I start
To fall apart
Remembering all
Those things you said
Like we’d always
Be together
Turns out forever’s
Not really forever
A love grown cold
A friendship severed
You said we’d grow old
Spend the rest of our lives together
I’d hold your hand
And you’d hold mine
Always and Forever
Until the end of time
But you needed time
And you needed space
You needed something
That I couldn’t replace
So now we just float on by
Words left unsaid
We’re both alive
But our love is dead
Both out of sight
Both out of mind
Hope you’re enjoying your space
Hope you’re enjoying your time
While I try to get over
The fact you’re no longer mine
You still have your heart
I still have mine
This loneliness is maddening
I’m going out of my mind…