It Took Losing You, To Find Myself

It took losing you
To find myself
I thought you were want I wanted
More than anyone else
But now that you’re gone
I can finally see
I wasn’t looking for you
I was trying to re-find me
I wasn’t happy with the life I had
The constant monotony
Just made me sad
I poured my heart and soul
Into loving you
Spent all my time
Trying to build something new
Now I look back
And see that I was wrong
What I needed
Was in front of me all along
I was just blind
I couldn’t see
Too busy trying to be
Everything for someone else
Neglecting the one
Who loves me more
Than anyone else
It took losing you
To finally find myself
I thought I wanted you
But all I really wanted was me.

The Realization

I don’t hate you
But I hate being ignored
I do miss you
And the way things were before
But you’re busy with your life
You were able to move on
While inside my head
I couldn’t accept you were gone
But you ignore me
And I feel bad
Talking to you
Only makes me sad
It’s all one-sided
I’m the one who starts
So I’ve forced myself
To let you go
To no longer reach out
I won’t follow you on social media
I won’t attempt to text
Or message you either
I have to learn to accept
That we will never be
That your new life
Does not include me
So I guess it’s time for me
To do what I’ve not been able to
It’s time for me to move on
And build a new life
A new life, without You…

A Falling Leaf

A falling leaf
But I’m at peace
Because the sun’s still shining
As I sit all alone
Out here on my own
Trying to find me
And just like the sun,
Life does move on
I’m putting you behind me
I thought my world
Had come to an end
Trying to live without you
But I was too blind to see
The world around me
There’s so much more to do
Than sit at home
To cry and moan
Because the love you promised
Wasn’t true
So I sit alone
Out here on my own
I’m finally at peace
The leaves have replaced the tears
It’s been a long year
The highs were high
And the lows were low
But the sun’s still shining
As I sit all alone
Out here on my own
Trying to find me
And just like the sun,
Life does move on
I’m putting you behind me

I Closed the Door

I closed the door on you
I closed the door on us
Not that I want us to be through
But to get back who I was
Back when I was happy
And found beauty in the world
Back before things felt crappy
Without the love of 1 girl
You have always had
A special place in my heart
But I’m tired of being sad
Like you, I need a new start
So I closed the door on you
And I closed the door on us
Time to move on
Now that the love is gone
Time for me to go find me
Time to set myself free
Time to figure out who I am
In this new reality…

Sunshine and Cicadas

Sunshine and cicadas
On a summer Saturday morn
Hanging with the dogs
In the backyard
While the cicadas sing
Their song
Sunlight poking through the trees
The dogs bask the light
Finishing my coffee
Not a worry in sight
Morning mediation
Helps me start the day
With peace
For now I have no worries
In this backyard retreat
Drink a bottle of water
Listening to the birds
Sing out their tune
Summer is almost over
Fall will be here soon
The sunshine and cicadas
Will then be replaced
With morning dew.
And I’ll still be holding on
To the love I have for you.