Why Am I Like This?

Why am I like this?
Why do I feel everything so deeply?
Why do I always fall?
Why am I like this?
Why am I shutting down again?
Why do I get so excited?
Why do I let people in?
Why am I like this?
Why am I this way?
Why do I get so caught up?
Why do I make them run away?
Why am I like this?
Why can’t I be happy?
Why can’t I find joy
In what’s right in front of me?
Why am I like this?
Why does it always hurt?
Why do I always end up
Feeling like a jerk?
Why am I like this?
Why doesn’t anybody else see?
That I don’t want to be here,
That it hurts to be me?
Why am I like this?
Why do I do this to myself?
Why do I imagine,
That I can escape
To somewhere else?
And what happens if one day
I’m finally lucky enough to get away?
Will I still be like this?
Will this pain finally go away?

A Falling Leaf

A falling leaf
But I’m at peace
Because the sun’s still shining
As I sit all alone
Out here on my own
Trying to find me
And just like the sun,
Life does move on
I’m putting you behind me
I thought my world
Had come to an end
Trying to live without you
But I was too blind to see
The world around me
There’s so much more to do
Than sit at home
To cry and moan
Because the love you promised
Wasn’t true
So I sit alone
Out here on my own
I’m finally at peace
The leaves have replaced the tears
It’s been a long year
The highs were high
And the lows were low
But the sun’s still shining
As I sit all alone
Out here on my own
Trying to find me
And just like the sun,
Life does move on
I’m putting you behind me