Waiting My Turn

I was going to do things right
I was going to wait my turn
That match I didn’t dare light
That bridge, was one I did not want to burn.
I was content to be just friends
My love I kept a secret,
Our friendship,
I did not want to end.
So I waited
For what seemed like a lifetime
Gave up on the dream
That you’d ever be mine
I gave up hope
You moved away
We both seemed happy
With our own families
Then like a bolt
Right out of the blue
You reached out to me
I reached out for you
We both came to find
We shared the same view
I Finally told you
How long I’ve loved you
To my surprise, you felt it too
We promised each other
That we’d always be true
Promised to help the other up
Whenever one of us felt down
But when I needed you most
You just weren’t around
Said you needed time
And you needed space
Time to find yourself
A place to create your space
As I felt my world crumble around me
You moved on, you built a life
You seem fine without me.
I held your hand, I wiped your tears
Promised to make up for lost time
To reclaim the losf years.
But now I’m left to wonder how
And wrestling with why
You’ve moved on
Gave your heart to another guy
You didn’t need time,
You didn’t need space
Why didn’t you just say
That you didn’t really need Me?

175 Miles

175 Miles,
And 2 hours away
I gave you all
The Time & Space
You were free
To live your life
Free to do
Whatever you pleased
Free to come & go
Free to move on
Without me.
I gave you all my time
Though I had none to waste
I gave you my all
Just so I
Could see your face
The time we shared
I savored each moment
You swore you’d always care
Now I sit here and wonder
Pondering where your love went
Because you needed your time
And you needed your space,
You couldn’t love me
From 175 Miles,
And 2 hours away…

Sitting Here

Sitting here, surrounded by all the things I still have to do
But none of those things I wanna do without you
Cooking, cleaning, going out
But all I can bring myself to do is sit & pout.
In a house full of people
I always feel so alone.
The highlight of my day was talking to you on the phone.
Those few minutes helped me cope
But now I’m struggling, at the end of my rope.
Just to have someone to talk to
Someone who could relate
Someone who understands me
You coming into my life felt like fate
But I’m all alone and now you’re gone
You have your new life, I have no one
So I sit here alone, with so much to do
But it hurts too bad, because all I can think about is you…

Rainy Friday Nights

These rainy Friday nights
They used to be “Our Time”
Our time to enjoy each other’s company,
Our time to just unwind
We’d sit on the phone and talk
Listening to each other in the dark
Just like teenagers way back when
Back when our Twin Flames did spark
Back before things turned different
We’d stay up all night
Watching a movie 150 miles apart,
Back when the world was right
Back when I was still in your heart
But Friday nights just aren’t the same
Now that we have grown apart
Now that you don’t feel the same.
You’ve moved on
Your love’s now gone,
Someone else is in your heart
But it’s still raining,
And I’m still here
Sitting along in the dark.
I catch myself missing you,
Longing for those Friday nights
Back when your love was true
When there was only me and only you.
Now I sit here all alone,
No one to help me ease this pain
I just sit here wondering
If Friday nights
Will ever be the same again…

I Won’t Be There

I won’t be there
To repair a heart
That I didn’t break
I won’t be there
To clean up a mess
That I didn’t make
I won’t be there
To wipe away your tears
I won’t be there
To help you face your fears
I won’t be there
When your world starts
To fall apart
I won’t be there
To mend your next
Broken heart
I won’t be there
To save you from
I won’t be there
To help you get over
Someone else.
I won’t be there
To help you
Get back on your feet
I won’t be there
For you
In your time of need.
I won’t be there
For you.
Because you weren’t
Here for me.
You said you’d be here
When I needed you
You said a lot of things
That turned out
To be untrue.
But you abandoned me
In my time of greatest need
I was blind before
But now I finally see
That I need to treat you
The same way you treated me…

Old Love

Old Love…
Leave Me Alone…
These are the words
From one of my favorite Clapton songs
Twin Flames, you said we were
But now your flame no longer burns…
As I lie here, in this bed alone,
Wondering how I’ll ever get back to
A white hot love, that’s now gone
“Old Love” blaring from the speakers
And dancing around in my head
Laying alone in this empty bed
Remembering all of the words you said…
“And it’s making me so angry…
To know that the flame still burns…”
Clapton softly sings
A “River of Tears” streaming down my face…
Stinging the corners of my eyes,
As the memories still race
Around in circles inside my head
My stomach and my heart both filled with dread…
Music used to be my getaway, my escape.
The music I used to love,
Now fills me with hate-
“Makes me so angry
To know that the flame still burns
Why can’t I get over?
When will I ever learn?
Old love…”

I Had to Let You Go

I had to let you go
It hurt too much
Holding on to a dream
Holding on to us
When so long ago
You moved on
I had to let you go
To get away from the pain
That cut me like a knife
Knowing you didn’t feel the same
I had to let you go
It hurt too much to watch
Seeing you move on with your life
Seeing the future that I lost
I had to let you go
I can’t even be your friend
Talking to you got my hopes up
That we’d be together again
I had to let you go
There were too many reminders of you
Rain, Rainbows, All our Songs
And the talking owls, too
I had to let you go
It hurt too much
Holding on to a dream
Holding on to us
I had to let you go
So I could finally find me.

DMB in West Palm Beach

I just kept looking there
Looking at that empty chair
The empty chair next to me
The empty chair where you should be
But I’m here without you
Trying to enjoy the show
Wishing I didn’t have to
Wishing that you could go
The first show Post-CoViD
This was what we planned
Back when I was your beloved
Back when I was your man
But I kept up my end of the deal
As I sit here in this field
Trying to enjoy this show without you
The way I drift my way through each day
At least they didn’t play Grey Street
I think I would have lost it
Look they’re playing You and Me
As I sit here exhausted
Watching couples hold each other tight
Singing sweetly in the night.
I just kept looking there
Looking at that empty chair
The empty chair next to me
The empty chair where you should be
But I’m here without you,
This was supposed to be our first show,
Seeing DMB in West Palm Beach

I Closed the Door

I closed the door on you
I closed the door on us
Not that I want us to be through
But to get back who I was
Back when I was happy
And found beauty in the world
Back before things felt crappy
Without the love of 1 girl
You have always had
A special place in my heart
But I’m tired of being sad
Like you, I need a new start
So I closed the door on you
And I closed the door on us
Time to move on
Now that the love is gone
Time for me to go find me
Time to set myself free
Time to figure out who I am
In this new reality…

Stained Glass Windows

I sat alone
There in that pew
Staring out
The stained glass windows
Thinking about you
Wishing that you
Were by my side
To hold my hand,
If I cried.
Where you’d be,
If I should happen to die
Would you sit in the gallery?
Or would you sit with the family?
And who would comfort you,
When you cried?
Would you even
Cry for me?
The stained glass windows
The sunlight shining through
And all I could do
Was think of you
As I sat alone there
Alone in that pew
Wishing you could love me too
Love me the way you used to
Wishing you were
By my side
To hold my hand
When I cried.
I was there to mourn
The loss of a dear friend.
But as I sat there
I thought of you again
Hoping to never sit
Alone in another pew
Sitting all alone,
Without you…