Tag: Love

The Realization

I don’t hate you
But I hate being ignored
I do miss you
And the way things were before
But you’re busy with your life
You were able to move on
While inside my head
I couldn’t accept you were gone
But you ignore me
And I feel bad
Talking to you
Only makes me sad
It’s all one-sided
I’m the one who starts
So I’ve forced myself
To let you go
To no longer reach out
I won’t follow you on social media
I won’t attempt to text
Or message you either
I have to learn to accept
That we will never be
That your new life
Does not include me
So I guess it’s time for me
To do what I’ve not been able to
It’s time for me to move on
And build a new life
A new life, without You…

What Happens Next?

So what happens next
Now that I’ve decide to move on?
What happens to my creativity
Now that my love for you is gone?
What happens to my words
No longer written down in pain
I won’t allow you cause me sorrow
Won’t let you hurt me once again
I’ve decided to move on now
Time to learn to be strong
Time to get my life back on track
Time to start on a new song
No, I am not bitter,
You helped me find my voice
But you left my heart in splinters
Move on, I have no choice.
So what happens next?
Now that I’ve decided to move on
What happens to my creativity
Now that my love for you is gone?

Sunshine and Cicadas

Sunshine and cicadas
On a summer Saturday morn
Hanging with the dogs
In the backyard
While the cicadas sing
Their song
Sunlight poking through the trees
The dogs bask the light
Finishing my coffee
Not a worry in sight
Morning mediation
Helps me start the day
With peace
For now I have no worries
In this backyard retreat
Drink a bottle of water
Listening to the birds
Sing out their tune
Summer is almost over
Fall will be here soon
The sunshine and cicadas
Will then be replaced
With morning dew.
And I’ll still be holding on
To the love I have for you.

The Overthinking Overthinker

I make up scenarios
Inside my own head
That fills my insides
Up with dread
It’s like I keep
Pulling my own thread
Completely unraveling
To words left unsaid
Because I only do this
To myself
Nobody even knows
This private Hell
Trapped inside
This lonesome cell
To no one else
These secrets I tell
Because I makeup
Scenarios in my own head
I overthink
I need a drink
To quench this thirst
Just makes it worse
Because my head spins
And my whole world ends
These nightmares I create
Destined to become my fate
On you I cannot wait
No one else I can depend
Because I make up
Scenarios in my own head
Filling my insides up with dread
I keep pulling my own thread
Completely unraveling
To words left unsaid
Because I only do this
To myself…

Chasing Time

I understand the value of time
So I won’t waste yours
And I won’t waste mine
By chasing after you all the time
I will be here
I’m not going anywhere
But I’m done needing you
Like I need to breathe air
If you want to talk to me
You know where I’ll be
So enjoy your space
Enjoy your time
It’s time for me
To learn to live with mine
Can’t keep on waiting
Gotta stop chasing
No more anticipating
No more hesitating
On my end
When all we are now
Is just friends
The ball is in your court
My heart is still in my hand
And right here on my sleeve
But I understand
The value of time
I won’t waste yours anymore
And I won’t waste mine
I’m not going to chase someone
Who doesn’t have time for me…

False Hope

I read your posts
I scroll through your timeline
I don’t know what I’m looking for
Don’t know what I’m hoping to find.
I just keep sitting here
Spinning my wheels
It hurts too bad to tell you
Exactly how I feel
It hurts inside pretending
That I don’t care at all
Hurts too bad wishing
One day you’ll text or call
So I sit here each day
Full of false hope
My heart tied to an anchor
This hope is the rope
That one day we’ll be together
You and I once again
But I also know it might be never
And we may not even be friends
Our twin paths intersected
Intertwined and then diverged
Life was so much better
When our paths did merge
But you had to go your own way
And I had to go mine
Still I keep hoping
Again our paths will intertwine
Til then I’ll keep pretending
And tugging on this rope
That anchors your heart to mine
And fills me with false hope.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

I know that you don’t need me
I just hope that someday
You’ll want to be with me again
Right now I feel like strangers
We’re no longer living as friends
You were made for me
I was made for you,
At least that’s what it seemed
You were the one I always wanted
The one I saw in every dream
You have proved you can live your life
Live your life all alone
But just because can,
Doesn’t mean you should
Are we really over?
Are we done for good?
Out of sight,
Out of mind
Sums up how I feel
Gave you space
Gave you time
So that your heart could heal
But while you’re gone,
While you’ve moved on
My heart breaks
My heart aches
Hoping that you’ll turn around
And pick my heart up from the ground
I suffer in silence
I don’t dare make a sound
But your silence
Is like violence
It rips me apart
Knowing that I no longer
Live inside your heart
Out of sight,
Out of mind
Sums up how I feel
I wish I could turn back time
Back when our love was real….

5 Hours Round Trip

5 hours round trip
For the chance to kiss your lips
5 hours is worth the drive
Because you made me feel so alive
5 hours in the car
Doesn’t seem very far
To see your smiling face
And wrap my hands around your waist
Two and a half hours there
Two and a half hours back
Back when you said your cared
Back when our love was on track
5 hours round trip
I’d take that trip
For just one more kiss
Upon your lips
The time we spent holding hands
Time stood still, it was so grand
That final drive
Back in December
Plays back in my mind
I still remember
The last time I held you close
Before your love
Disappeared like a ghost
I told you that I loved you most
You swore
That you loved me more
But now your love
Is no more
As I get in the car
To make this drive
Wishing it would end
With you by my side
I guess I should be satisfied
That I got the chance to take that ride
Please know that I never lied
Though now my feelings
I keep inside
With no one else to confide
Wishing for another 5 hour ride
5 hours round trip
For the chance to kiss your lips
5 hours is worth the drive
Because you made me feel so alive
5 hours in the car
Doesn’t seem very far
To see your smiling face
And wrap my hands around your waist

Rambling Incoherently

I loved you
You moved away
I found you,
But the words I couldn’t say
You had another
And so did I
So I said nothing
My feelings kept inside
And then one day
I found you again
But in my heart
No longer just a friend
I spoke my truth
My heart- I let you in
Your heart did feel the same too.
Complicated, both of our lives
But Together Forever
We’d stand Side-by-side
Then one day
Your world fell apart
And I was no longer held in your heart.
Apart we drifted, you were no longer there
Left alone to face this on my own
You needed space,
To learn to be alone.
So I stood here, hoping and praying
Then one day, I refused to keep chasing
Someone wanting to be alone
Someone trying to make it on their own.
If you wanted me, you would reach out.
Isn’t that what love is all about?
Two people both broken and flawed
Fighting to be together, no matter the odds.
But it felt I wanted us more than you did
That my need for you. left me feeling stupid.
Because You needed time and space.
You needed focus, you didn’t need to waste-
Time on someone so far away.
So I sucked it up,
I deleted every trace
So I wouldn’t have to see your face
Those memories I tried to erase.
And you, I tried to ignore
Pretend I didn’t need you anymore
Pretend that I was doing fine
Pretend that you weren’t always on my mind.
And after 3 weeks I let you back in…
Wishing things were different
But so far here we go again
Because to me
It’s plain to see
I need you
More than
You need me…