Why
Do I cry
Over someone
Who doesn’t want
Me?
Why
Does it hurt
To miss someone
Who doesn’t see
Me?
Why
Do I try?
Why
Do I
Keep letting
You
Hurt Me?
Why
Do I care
That you’re not
There?
Why
Am I blind
To all that is
Here
Right here
In front of
Me?
Why
Do I
Keep getting
My Hopes
Up?
When it is
Plain to see
That You
Don’t
Give A Damn
About
Me…
I was going to do things right
I was going to wait my turn
That match I didn’t dare light
That bridge, was one I did not want to burn.
I was content to be just friends
My love I kept a secret,
Our friendship,
I did not want to end.
So I waited
For what seemed like a lifetime
Gave up on the dream
That you’d ever be mine
I gave up hope
You moved away
We both seemed happy
With our own families
Then like a bolt
Right out of the blue
You reached out to me
I reached out for you
We both came to find
We shared the same view
I Finally told you
How long I’ve loved you
To my surprise, you felt it too
We promised each other
That we’d always be true
Promised to help the other up
Whenever one of us felt down
But when I needed you most
You just weren’t around
Said you needed time
And you needed space
Time to find yourself
A place to create your space
As I felt my world crumble around me
You moved on, you built a life
You seem fine without me.
I held your hand, I wiped your tears
Promised to make up for lost time
To reclaim the losf years.
But now I’m left to wonder how
And wrestling with why
You’ve moved on
Gave your heart to another guy
You didn’t need time,
You didn’t need space
Why didn’t you just say
That you didn’t really need Me?
Sitting here, surrounded by all the things I still have to do
But none of those things I wanna do without you
Cooking, cleaning, going out
But all I can bring myself to do is sit & pout.
In a house full of people
I always feel so alone.
The highlight of my day was talking to you on the phone.
Those few minutes helped me cope
But now I’m struggling, at the end of my rope.
Just to have someone to talk to
Someone who could relate
Someone who understands me
You coming into my life felt like fate
But I’m all alone and now you’re gone
You have your new life, I have no one
So I sit here alone, with so much to do
But it hurts too bad, because all I can think about is you…
I sat alone
There in that pew
Staring out
The stained glass windows
Thinking about you
Wishing that you
Were by my side
To hold my hand,
If I cried.
Wondering
Where you’d be,
If I should happen to die
Would you sit in the gallery?
Or would you sit with the family?
And who would comfort you,
When you cried?
Would you even
Cry for me?
The stained glass windows
The sunlight shining through
And all I could do
Was think of you
As I sat alone there
Alone in that pew
Wishing you could love me too
Love me the way you used to
Wishing you were
By my side
To hold my hand
When I cried.
I was there to mourn
The loss of a dear friend.
But as I sat there
I thought of you again
Hoping to never sit
Alone in another pew
Sitting all alone,
Without you…
At 45, just the thought
Of giving up and starting over
Just doesn’t make any sense
A job, a life, a family.
A granddaughter on the way.
A house, a wife of 20 years.
You’d be a fool not to stay.
Loyalty, Stability,
No cares for tomorrow
But misery and anxiety
You hide your pain, your sorrow.
Hoping to find “a better life”
With someone who shares your vision
Will you ever find a better wife,
Than the mother of your children?
You swear that she’s not right for you,
That she is no longer your “person”
But will ever find someone
To help you ease your pain
Or will the one that you want to be with
Bring more pain to the surface?
You’re 45.
Be glad you’re alive
You wake to another day
Thank the stars and the Universe
For each and every one
And hope you get to experience
Another 45 some day…
Rainbow Phoenix Poetry 