Why Do I Cry?

Do I cry
Over someone
Who doesn’t want
Does it hurt
To miss someone
Who doesn’t see
Do I try?
Do I
Keep letting
Hurt Me?
Do I care
That you’re not
Am I blind
To all that is
Right here
In front of
Do I
Keep getting
My Hopes
When it is
Plain to see
That You
Give A Damn

Sitting Here

Sitting here, surrounded by all the things I still have to do
But none of those things I wanna do without you
Cooking, cleaning, going out
But all I can bring myself to do is sit & pout.
In a house full of people
I always feel so alone.
The highlight of my day was talking to you on the phone.
Those few minutes helped me cope
But now I’m struggling, at the end of my rope.
Just to have someone to talk to
Someone who could relate
Someone who understands me
You coming into my life felt like fate
But I’m all alone and now you’re gone
You have your new life, I have no one
So I sit here alone, with so much to do
But it hurts too bad, because all I can think about is you…

Rainy Friday Nights

These rainy Friday nights
They used to be “Our Time”
Our time to enjoy each other’s company,
Our time to just unwind
We’d sit on the phone and talk
Listening to each other in the dark
Just like teenagers way back when
Back when our Twin Flames did spark
Back before things turned different
We’d stay up all night
Watching a movie 150 miles apart,
Back when the world was right
Back when I was still in your heart
But Friday nights just aren’t the same
Now that we have grown apart
Now that you don’t feel the same.
You’ve moved on
Your love’s now gone,
Someone else is in your heart
But it’s still raining,
And I’m still here
Sitting along in the dark.
I catch myself missing you,
Longing for those Friday nights
Back when your love was true
When there was only me and only you.
Now I sit here all alone,
No one to help me ease this pain
I just sit here wondering
If Friday nights
Will ever be the same again…

Old Love

Old Love…
Leave Me Alone…
These are the words
From one of my favorite Clapton songs
Twin Flames, you said we were
But now your flame no longer burns…
As I lie here, in this bed alone,
Wondering how I’ll ever get back to
A white hot love, that’s now gone
“Old Love” blaring from the speakers
And dancing around in my head
Laying alone in this empty bed
Remembering all of the words you said…
“And it’s making me so angry…
To know that the flame still burns…”
Clapton softly sings
A “River of Tears” streaming down my face…
Stinging the corners of my eyes,
As the memories still race
Around in circles inside my head
My stomach and my heart both filled with dread…
Music used to be my getaway, my escape.
The music I used to love,
Now fills me with hate-
“Makes me so angry
To know that the flame still burns
Why can’t I get over?
When will I ever learn?
Old love…”

Ink and Tears

That tattoo on your arm
The one of the spear
The one that pointed to you
And made my love for you clear
The tattoo of the moon
That I briefly got to see
The matching ones we were supposed to get
Back when your love was for me
You were supposed to be my first
Your love I wore on my sleeve
New ink you got when you moved on
Mushrooms and peonies
Tears I cry because now you’re gone
There’s no more you and me
My ink? My link to you?
That will never be?
Was supposed to be a Big Dipper
Because I was your Big Spoon.
Or Albert & Allegra-
The Universe always knew
How I felt about you
Tattoos are permanent
They’re with you forever
Just like I thought your love was true
You said you’d leave me never
I never got that tattoo
All I’m left with are my tears
And the scars upon my heart
The tattered, scattered pieces,
Anxiety and fear-
Long gone is our brand new start.
I wore my love for you on my sleeve
Like the tattoo on your arm
Mushrooms and peonies…
Maybe one day I’ll get that ink
Of Rainbow Phoenix Farms?
But if not, maybe just a Phoenix
Raising from the flames
Tattooed on my forearm
Reborn after you took your heart
And that I’ve finally learned
To trust and love again…